They can be sweet, loving, funny, but very hurtful.

They have made me feel insecure, sad, and completely worthless.

Even writing this; so many edits, that’s how I can reassure myself.

Convince myself that they are just meaningless words.

Yet I’d rather be hit by sticks and stones.

It’s because those words flow through my head everyday.

 

“No one likes you…” flows through my head everyday.

Someone give me an answer to why these words are hurtful.

Go ahead and hit me with stones.

I’d rather take that pain than to feel so worthless.

Feel completely worthless by words.

I just can’t help but to feel this way about myself.

 

“You look sick,” I say that about myself.

It plays on in my head everyday.

I try to suppress it, try to hide it… “just smile Michelle, and forget about those words.”

I tell myself that, but it gets too hurtful.

So I cuddle up, fetal position, and feel completely worthless.

“Would I feel this way if they’d hit me with stones.”

 

“They should’ve just hit me with stones.”

Some days I feel angry, yet so worthless.

I feel this way everyday.

I, then, point the finger to myself.

I’m the reason those words are hurtful.

I’m the reason they said those terrible words.

 

I could’ve done something to prevent those words.

If only they’d hit me with stones.

I don’t know, I guess it might have been less hurtful.

Then, maybe I would not think less of myself.

Then, maybe I would feel good everyday.

Then, maybe I would not feel so worthless.

 

I continue to lie to myself, “I am not worthless.”

But my head feels surrounded by those words.

Those words I think about everyday.

“You’re too skinny, you can’t even lift stones.”

“You’re ugly,” “is that your first meal in years,” “she’s so stupid”- “they’re right,” I say to myself.

“If you eat more you’ll gain weight and look pretty”- my friend said that not knowing it was so hurtful.

 

Those words that flow through my head everyday, make me feel worthless. Hearing those words repeatedly, I can’t help but feel this way about myself. They say “sticks and stones may break my bones,” but words can too.